Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
This is the high leading the old right now
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
