Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
