I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
