U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize