get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
