The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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