I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
