is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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