Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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