Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
