We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize