**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
