The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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