Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
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