You really coming over, don't trick.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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