I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
