smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
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she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
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Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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