I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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