I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
