Are we in a gay sports bar?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
