I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
