? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
