I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
