so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
