The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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