if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I need a beard to bite.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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