Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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