apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
