Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
