I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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