i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
