Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
