I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize