Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
