ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
