I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
