I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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