He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
