If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
