I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
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