ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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