ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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