its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
