I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
