i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
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