called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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