so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
