The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Randomize