What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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