so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
