I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
