just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
