It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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