Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize